To my beautiful memories

To Past lesson,

Life is very unusual, it gives you everything at that part of your life when you don’t deserve it. Just kidding.

Date 20 May, 2018

It’s time to let go, the grudge which i had for the past. Yeah its true, I was stupid for keeping it for so long and thinking of it to get back, I was so wrong for being pathetic.

Love is something which comes to you at a prefect time. The one in which i was looking was not made for me. Though we were prefect together and acted all crazy. Thank you for a wonderful memories and a lesson too.

I was so stupid at that part of my life, so stupid that i still want to hold on to it. Seriously, not happening. Now its just me and i just want to say it to you.

Life is something which can’t be learned with just a single person. It too big to limit you life around that single thought every day. Just saying big, I know.

Today i want to make something best out of my life. I’m sure about it right now.

Thank you,

Vishnu.

(P.s Don’t judge just a thought)

The devil in my Room

I slept, before midnight that day. It was a strange feeling which i was getting behind me. Thirsty for blood made me awake wide open with no one there to protect me. I cried that night feeling that lonely atmosphere made me suffer the pills of death. 

It stabbed me from behind but i still stood there to look what it was, I wasn’t afraid being a loner anymore. It was the nightmare which I suffered, that night my bed was all covered up in blood. 

I collapsed after a while breathing heavy, the urge for some water. My body started feeling cold, still wanted to live more. The suffering never stopped it kept on increasing, breath was getting faster and I was cover with blood of dark. I whispered ‘save me somebody’ it was not meant to be the end. 
I still tried to look what it was and there i was, eyes with suffering and angry within looking at it was devastating for me. My voice became numb, no words to utter. 

It started to walk and the closer it gets, my heartbeat kept on increasing. I tried to move my legs but it stayed all numb. It disappeared all of the sudden, with a scar on my body and fear in my soul. 

That night it make me realise the bright side of life. The wish for death was gone, I stepped up that day to move forward and live a life. 

The darkness was no more beautiful for me to live, the presence of getting stabbed still make me shiver. 

That night still lives within me with tears and hardships.

Schizophrenia

“Kill it and Move forward”

Red light street kid

We were born, We were on street 
Life without food, Life without parent

Starving to death, but still working on road 

We are kids but no one cares,

We walk past by observing others being loved, 

That love which every kids wished for, 

That clothes to cover our soul under nightmares, 

But we believe that god is there to protect us, 

We wish but it can’t be fulfilled, 

We dream but always stays a dream, 

Our life might not be easy, but we survive everyday.

That naked body might be covered with mud, 

But our souls is pure like a gold. 

We are orphans, but god is our parent.

He loved us then, he love us now.

Devil woke up every night we slept,

We were kids, but we were not beggars 

Hands been cut, eyes been killed blind, 

It was our destiny which we never choose to live,

Red light darkness became a part of our  life, 

We still lived our life, but our soul were killed by educated people, 

We ran from it but there was no way out, 

Never destined to be a murderer, 

But we killed and we were killed.

Treated like trash, Still simled like no other, 

We were there before,

We are here now, but everything still the same. 

We are not meant to be sold, 

We are not meant to be molested, 

We are not meant to be a beggar or a labour, 

We are meant to be educated, 

We are meant to be treated right, 

We are meant to hold a pen not a tool, 

But we are poor and helpless, 

We believe in god and we believe life will be better someday. 

-Feeling and hopeful thoughts of a red light street kid.

Why do prostitutes alone face all the Criticism and not the people who feast on them? 

Is it because they are poor and helpless?

I’m a human being & I’m an introvert person


I’m a human being and I’m an introvert person 

Introvert being quiet and retiring,

Love to be alone or with some close friends,

Does not crave excitement,

Controls Own feelings,

Prefer thoughts more before action,

Being an introvert person, everyone think of as a boring character.

Being an introvert person builds up a world which no one can see.

We being introvert we fall in love and It always stay one-sided 

The fear to make it a mess always stays up 

I being an introvert never taught of interacting with a bunch of Souls

That extrovert attracts me the most, 

Taught me to live the fullest.

That parts of me, which I’m not was admiring of,

Never thought of speaking and being the centre of attention but always observing people closely,

I being an introvert, I got an emotion.

I never speak up to things which i feel bad about, 

But it killed me more than words that i can say. 

I live, I breathe,

Still I am an introvert guy. 

To everything happening people ask me, Are you Okay? 

Million of words, passed by my mind.

But my mouth whispered, That I’m fine. 

Never spoke much but always smiling, 

One harsh words and everything is done. 

Whatever I do, 

 Things never changed of me being an introvert.

All night passed with shadows and no tears passed of pain built inside.

Even my solitude knew that I was an introvert.

Walls build around no one to be close,

Being an introvert I knew It was hard to be in love.

Today all my words which i never spoke up,

I started being someone, who i am NOT. 

I started writing.

&

Being A writer,

People tells me that i am good with words,

But they never knew that i am good by my heart

My mind just keep thinking and imagining 

Maybe more fond of books than people

I love to be reserved and being an introvert 

Filled with knowledge and Less of a words 
This is me and I am an Introvert.

Hiding Myself

I woke up with indifference I feel,

Shame to live, Fame to dream,

Joy of emptiness, Loneliness to cherish,

Scar on my corps, beauty to wink 

Grown to build but feel the pain,

The clock has turned enough to reach a planet 

Life is endless night

I hear wings beating in the dark of my room

A gaint Raven is waiting,

For me to fall asleep,

I feel the shame today,

I woke up, felt like dying

Nothing serious or anything 

Not happy, 

Not sad, 

But Empty,

Idea of waking up again and again to a pointless life.

What is ‘SHE’ for You?

What is she for you? 
She is a thing of lust,
She is a material to be raped,
She is a person to be judged,
She is a person to be looked up for sex,
She is a person to be used,
She is a person to be a burden for a family,
She is a person, to spoil everyone’s mood while birth,
She is a person who need to leave her house,
She is a person who needs to carry a baby for better tomorrow,
Why She,
Is always look up as a thing of lust, 
Person to be dis-respected,

Person to be judged,

Person to be raped brutally,
Person to be looked up for sex everyday,
Person to be stayed at home working,
Person to be keep under veil, 
She can be your bestfriend,
She can be your best daughter to be proud of, 
She can be your beautiful wife to love you forever,
She can be a mother to be a beautiful god on earth.
She is wonderful, Just remember that ❤

A walk came to an end

Happiness with beauty, 

Soul with sorrow, 

Mind with thoughts, 

Heart with bleed, 

No words to say, 

But million fights with itself.
Expectation with failure, 

Memories with sadness, 

Body with warmth, 

No words to say, 

But million fights with itself.
Bond for life, 

Easy to break, 

No promise to stay,

No words to say, 

But million fights with itself.
Fought for end, 

Nothing to regret,

No words to say,

But life made it beautiful.

No matter what happens in life, never let anyone take over you. You are special and make your life beautiful.

A Walk alone

Every day there is a void in my heart,

 Every hour there is a echo in my ears,

Every minute there is a fred in my mind,

Every Second there is a warmth in my body,

Days, hours, minutes and second pass by but there is never you in my life.

Beauty of colours

Every colours has it own meaning to say. It beautiful to crave such colours around your body to cover your scars. No one to judge you whether you’re fair or dark. No one to look at your scars with a weird look on their face. 

Red is the color of energy, passion, action, ambition and determination. It is also the color of anger and sexual passion.

Green is the color of balance and growth. It can mean both self-reliance as a positive and possessiveness as a negative, among many other meanings. 

Yellow is the color of the mind and the intellect. It is optimistic and cheerful. However it can also suggest impatience, criticism and cowardice.

Blue is the color of trust and peace. It can suggest loyalty and integrity as well as conservatism and frigidity. 

Black is the color of the hidden, the secretive and the unknown, creating an air of mystery. It keeps things bottled up inside, hidden from the world.
White is color at its most complete and pure, the color of perfection. The color meaning of white is purity, innocence, wholeness and completion.

We all are human being and we can’t be prefect. Every one has its own charm and beauty we just need to look into and don’t need to judge anyone beacause even colours have its own negative and positive meaning. So be proud of your colour, scars and your body. Don’t let others word harm you. 😇

Lets make this holi more joyful and not judge anyone. Stay blessed and stay happy 

I’m Fine

People think depression is sadness, crying or dressing in black. But people are wrong. Depression is the constant feeling of being numb.

A mental depression which you been in when you start missing some part of your life. The walk you had with, the care you felt, the night you spend talking with, the unlimited memories to cherish with that one missing part. Mentally it disturbs you like hell and its starts getting annoying every moment. Psychologist says that ‘it just a thought we have in our mind, which just keep haunting us every time. Even if you plan everything in your life, the fate of life is beyond that. A new life is not easy to get hold on with, to make it happen you need a mental stability. Maybe you wake up someday and realize even your suffering was just a part of a dream, even we exist might be a belief. Have you ever suffered nightmares that bedevil your mind every night like the whole day you stay happy and at night when you try to take a nap, thought starts disturbing every single part of your mind. It can make your whole life hell and you need to get over it whether its love or failure. No one can make a change it’s you who can make yourself a better person for a better tomorrow. 

Depression is not something like a phase,

It’s a disease.

 It’s like screaming when no one can hear.

It’s to be falling apart without anyone noticing.

Bizarre feeling that comes up every day in my mind. It makes me feel blessed with disturbing thoughts. Step by Step it just kept killing me, upsetting my thoughts.

Some of them usually feel something but they can’t express. It happens usually but it’s hard to go through things which you don’t know but you start feeling low and numb.

Why is it always necessary to make a sacrifice of that one most beautiful thing you have deep affection?

People start saying that it’s a lesson, problems make you strong. BULLSHIT!! It kills you 100 times every day like some kind of virus in your body. Being strong doesn’t mean that you have to kill your true self and act like a total asshole.

But that okay,

Everyone finds it hard to get out of it. It happens usually, but you should always think positive and feel better about things. It’s okay to have a bad day, it will end one day. Make yourself feel good that you were strong all the while when things went apart. Start appreciating things which you get every day.
To be an asshole to a nice one and be a nicer person to an asshole, that defines features about me.

Depression makes me cry like it’s an end to my world. I just started wanting her more than ever but you know what I just made a fool out of myself at the end. All what she wanted was an asshole when I was being nicer to an asshole. 

Funny Right? Somebody just kick me for doing it. 

I tell people I’m tired

But in fact, I’m depressed.

I tell people that, I’ll be fine tomorrow

But I know, tomorrow will be worse.

I tell lies everyday

And I know, I’ll not be able to stop it by myself.